You have to Cry before you learn how to Breathe
by ava-bell-yan
Summary: Songfic. The story is that when Derek and Casey met they were in college. They had all the same friends and well, they clicked. Casey fell in love, and so did Derek but he was afraid of hurting her.Will he come back to her? or leave her cold and alone?
1. Crying from all the Pain

**I DO NOT OWN LWD! OR THESE LYRICS!**

_Italics are memories_

_**Italics bold are song lyrics**_

Regular is the story

--------------------------------------------**CASEY'S POV**-------------------------------------------------------------

_**If anyone asks,**_

" Casey, What happened?" Emily pleaded._**  
Ill tell them we've both just moved on.**_

" We...just moved on."

She hung her head, and walked on. _**  
When people all stare,  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk.**_

Wishing that they would stop, they didn't really understand. Not like he did.

_**Whenever I see you,  
I'll swallow my pride, and bite my tongue.  
Pretend I'm OK with it all,  
Act like there's nothing wrong.**_

He was there in front of me, it looked like he might say something but we walked away

from each other instead. 

_**Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
**_She was holding herself, so she wouldn't fall apart. She's never known this much pain.

How in the world did she let him get so close? She trusted him, and he ruined everything.

He just ran away._**  
If anyone asks, **_

" Case, I'm worried about you. Please tell me what happened."_**  
I'll tell them we just grew apart.**_

" We just grew apart." I put a brave face, but I knew Sam could see right through it._**  
(I'll tell them we just grew apart)  
What do I care,  
If they believe me or not.  
(If they believe me or not)  
Whenever I feel,  
Your memory is breaking my heart.**_

_I was laying there in his arms, looking up at him. He was smiling down at me, pushing away a strand of hair from my face. _

_The sun was out and there was a light breeze. Almost nobody was there in the park as we laid there in each others arms. _

_" Case?" He whispered in my ear, I was falling asleep._

_" Yes, Derek?" I opened my eyes to look at him._

_" I love you." He blushed slightly, smiling but his eyes were serious._

_" I love you, too." I whispered and kissed him sweetly.__**  
I'll pretend I'm OK with it all,  
Act like there's nothing wrong.  
**_I wiped away a stray tear, I thought the library would be the place to get away from him but no. He was there, and he saw that stray tear, I thought I saw tears in his eyes to._**  
Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
**_She hugged her pillow, trying not to think of him. He wasn't worth the tears, she thought but it couldn't stop her. This pain she felt was almost unbearable and it was all because he ran away. _**  
I'm Talking in circles.  
I'm lying they know it.  
Why wont this just stop go away  
**_She never got back up, she just laid there. Hoping, wishing, NEEDING the pain to stop. She need HIM but he ran away._**  
Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry!  
Cry!**_

She had gotten up at some point, but didn't make it really far. She was leaned against a corner, and she almost welcomed the loneliness. Having her own apartment made that simple, being alone.

But she couldn't stand being alone, and she cried harder...

Mainly because she couldn't stop, and all because he ran away.


	2. Learning to Breathe

**I DO NOT OWN LWD! OR THESE LYRICS! Songs are Cry by Kelly Clarkson ( first Chapter) and Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot ( this chapter)**

_Italics are memories_

_**Italics bold are song lyrics**_

Regular is the story

----------------------------------------------**DEREK'S POV**----------------------------------------------------------

_**Hello, good morning, how ya do? **_

_**What makes your rising sun so new? **_

He walked unto campus like he did every morning, but this was different because she wasn't there._**  
I could use a fresh beginning too **_

He really thought he was protecting her by not being with her. He loved her so much he didn't want to hurt her. All of his other relationships failed, and he didn't want that to happen with them but he knew deep down. He was the one that was making this one fail._**  
All of my regrets are nothing new  
**_He saw her, on her way to class. He stopped in front of her, wishing she would talk to him but she just walked right by. Her blue eyes were red, it broke his heart because he knew it was his fault there were like that.**_  
So this is the way  
that I say I need You _**

He did better in school, not that he was a slacker, but he tried extra hard. He joined any and every club he could get into...with out interrupting his hockey time of course._**  
This is the way **_

He tried talking to her but every time.. he stopped himself. _**  
This is the way  
**_Then she would walk right by. **_  
That I'm learning to breathe  
I'm learning to crawl _**

He would never admit to anybody, but yes he cried. _**  
I'm finding that You and  
You alone can break my fall **_

He cried because he remembered, he remembered everything. She had been there and helped him when he needed someone the most._**  
I'm living again, awake and alive **_

He would imagine her smiling face, and not the sad one he always saw now._**  
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies**_

Hello, good morning, how ya been?  
Yesterday left my head kicked in 

I knew that I would have to make things better because now I knew that with out her I couldn't live. _**  
I never thought I could fall like that  
Never knew that I could hurt this bad **_

The pain was too much, even for him. Never had there been anybody to make the great Derek Venturi feel this way. _****_

I'm learning to breathe  
I'm learning to crawl 

I took a deep breath. I knew that she was there, Emile had said that she didn't even go to a poetry meeting. This worried me, but as I stood outside her apartment I became nervous. _**  
I'm finding that You and  
You alone can break my fall **_

I knocked, and yet no answer. Waiting a couple minutes I knocked again. Feeling inpatient I turned the knob and the door opened. _**  
I'm living again, awake and alive  
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies **_

Walking in it smelled of just her, that sweet intoxicating smell that always put me in a trance. I could hear sobs coming from her room, and I slowly opened the door and found her in the far corner with her head in her lap.

" Casey, please don't cry." I said to her softly, as I approached her.

" But you went away." She cried out, still not looking at me.

" Yes, but I came back." I knelt in front of her.

" You promised you wouldn't leave me." She looked up at me, her blue eyes even more blue but with tears. To me she still looked beautiful.

_We won the hockey game, and she took me out to celebrate. It was no where fancy but sitting there in the booth with her right beside me, felt right. There were a few minutes of silence during our meal, when she turned to me. _

_" Can you promise me something?" She asked me._

_" Anything." I looked at her, wondering what she was thinking.._

_" Promise you won't leave me." Her eyes dropped a bit, but I made her look at me by placing me finger under her chin and lifting it towards me. _

_" I promise." I told her, looking her right in the eyes._

_**  
So this is the way  
that I say I need You **_

__I couldn't say anything, so instead I grabbed her into a hug. I didn't want to let go. **_  
This is the way  
That I say I love You _**

__" I'm just learning to breathe" I whispered into her hair, holding back tear of my own.

She pulled away, and looked at me, her eyes had so much sorrow in them I stopped breathing.

" Don't do it again." She whispered softly.

" I won't, if you promise me something." I said back to her.

" Anything." She hugged me again._**  
This is the way  
That I say I'm Yours **_

__" Marry me?" I choked out, she pulled back in shock.

" Yes." She answered after a few moments and I kissed her before even finished the word._**  
This is the way... **_

__" I love you." I kissed her again.

" I love you, too." She smiled, for the first time in what seemed like ages._**  
This is the way...  
**_We walked hand in hand unto campus that next day. Knowing that this is how things were supposed to be...

**JUST A SHORT FIC. I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT. **

**LOVES, AVA.**


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